i thought i would move on...

I thought I would move on

but the same hallucination

the same ringing voice

I thought it would leave me.

My first love, starting from the days

of adolescence.

The first days when the realization

dawned upon me…

The realization of love, romanticized

to the extreme;

You were the one who came out

straight out of the pages of some novel.

Ruffled hair, shabby kurta, high

sounding words, a cigarette in hand

Yet dreamy eyes, artistic fingers.

U were careless yet very caring

A love I worshipped, looked up to

N then the real world dawned upon me

U became blurred, yet never

Non existent.

I loved n lost, loved n lost

Never felt alone, coz u were there

Always with me, when I was happy

I forgot u, when hurt, I wanted u,

U were there.

A witness to all those lonely nights

N wet pillow

U heard those silent screams

That calm madness, u saw it.

You were, u are , n u will b

Every dream I see, I wish it were u.

You are a lie

But a truth greater than any truth.

A stranger, yet my closest confidant

N now I never want u to leave me.

I hear your voice again,

But never can I see u.

Still, I am happy u r there.