Moments...

Nor an escape from the past

Neither the promise of a future

It’s just for here, and just for now.

In the moments, at this  hour

Just like the handful of sand

That will escape the fists very soon…

Not in the tears, nor  in the smile

Just for those looks in the eyes for a while…

Not for the eyes that stare,

Nor for the eyes that speak…

But for those eyes that play hide n seek

Not in the music, nor in your words

But for those silences between the lips

I feel like being with you.

Give me those moments…

Those moments of peace,

Those moments of love

Those moments of life

And I promise to live an eternity in each.

Life Is Lived In Transformation

For after long... very long

I've realized the fault

I’ve realized the truth

The fault of killing my soul

The truth that I was not myself

The simple fact that I have changed...

For after long... very long

I've felt this urge again

I've felt the drive again

The urge to live my life again

The drive to laugh at every joke

The simple fact that the heart still beats...

For after long... very long

I'm scared to admit it

I'm scared to own it

Admit that too much has been wasted

Own that I can count the years

The simple fact that life won't be forever...

I lost so much in translation

I lost so much in transgression

I lost so much in the tears I cried

I lost so much in those fake smiles

How much more can I lose from me

Until I lose something called 'me'?

Do I have the strength in me

To make someone smile again?

Do I have the guts in me

To make someone live again?

Do I have any tears left over

To cry if someone hurts again?

Yet I will laugh, and I will cry

I dare to love, I dare defy

My hopes are high, I dream again

To swim the ocean, reach for the sky

I have emotions left for every occasion

I know, LIFE IS LIVED IN TRANSFORMATION.

SAFE...

The room was illumined, not with lights, but with the afterglow. The darkness was softened, by the presence of the two, who now lay beside each other. Her head rested on his chest, and he was playing with her soft curls.

HIM:  Hey?

HER:  Hmm…

HIM:  How do you feel?

HER: About?

HIM: Now.

HER: Right now?

HIM: Right now.

HER: Safe, very safe.

HIM: Safe!! Why?

Her face lit up with a mysterious smile…

HER: Because you have a  broad chest, fatso!!!

She started tickling him, and they got into a pillow fight…

Moments later, they were snuggled up against each other again. She loved to sleep, her head rested on his chest.

HER: Hey?

HIM: Umm?

HER : I feel safe, coz I can hear your heart still pounding. I feel safe coz I still feel your hushed breath brushing across my forehead. I feel safe because I can still sense the warmth of your skin, the blood racing through your vessels. I feel safe coz you still move, coz your arms still embrace me, and your limbs still entangle me.

I feel safe coz you will still frown when I wake you up tomorrow, I feel safe coz you’ll promise to come back from work early; and in the evening when I open the door so eagerly, you’ll be standing right there, with a smile across your face, saying, “Honey, I’m home.”

P.S. : Fiction yet again...

to live for you and die in your arms...

The ECG machine denoted that the heart was still functioning, the clinical evidence that I was still alive. No one would, I know, believe that one can fall in love at the death bed; but yes, I did. I fell in love with you, when there were no hopes of me surviving the fatal disease I carried within myself; right at the place inside me, right where life dwells.

You came everyday, thrice. You checked my pulse and made sure I was still inhaling and exhaling, to confirm that my heart was still functioning. Only I knew, I was breathing again. Only I felt, that my heart had started beating again. But even amidst all the care you took to see that my heart was behaving alright, even after all the medication, my heart malfunctioned thrice a day; every time you held my hand to check my pulse, you never knew, but my heart skipped a beat, and it still does.

After the fifth day in the ICU, you felt it was a miracle that I survived the third attack. You said I was brave enough to fight it. Everyone said it was God’s grace; but I knew it was the power of love. I remember the time when I was sinking, and that is when I saw you; and I knew my heart had some last emotions to feel before it stops throbbing.  I rose, from that deep delved pitch dark hole into which I had almost disappeared.

I was placed in a cabin, small but neat, with a window just beside my bed. They wanted to take me home, because all of them, including me knew that my lease wasn’t for too long. I was here among this world only for a very few days now. But I insisted on staying back; I said I feel safe here. They let me stay, considering it my last wish. I stayed back, because I didn’t want to survive, I wanted to live the last few days of my life; live for those moments, when my heart could skip a beat.

Every moment from then on, I have lived to wait for you, thrice a day. Only for those few glances of yours, I would spend the rest of my days in this small hospital cabin. I know, my heart is weak, and I do not have time and strength enough to offer it to you.  I know, and I never dream of spending my life with you. But I am holding on to life, with the only hope that I could die in your arms.

P.S.: This is just a piece of fiction. I am a healthy person with a healthy heart.